Movie Quotes and Tournament

So I decided to do something different for the tournament preview. I decided to rank the teams 1-68, and assign a movie quote that in someway applies to their team, season, matchup, coach, player, etc. I included the link when available. I spent approximately thirty seconds looking for each clip, so if I didn't include it, it may be out there, but I didn't feel like looking. I broke the countdown into 7 parts. I dont wanna hear "that quote doesn't apply," or "you shoulda used X for team Y," because no matter what you say, my response is going to be "write your own damn blog." Hopefully the rankings are informative enough to preview the tournament, and the quotes are entertaining enough to keep you reading. I hope you enjoy:

68. Alabama State

“Mr. Kruger. 2 C’s, 2 D’s and a F, that’s a 1.25 Grade Point Average. Congratulations, Mr. Kruger, youre at the top of the Delta Pledge Class.”

- Animal House.

Kruger has about as much to be proud of for being the top of the delta pledge class that Alabama State has for winning the SWAC, the worst rated conference in the nation. Alabama State started 6-16 before winning 11 of 12. Their best win all year was 289^th ranked Texas Southern, who they beat twice. It is doubtful that Alabama State give the comeuppance to San Antonio and then Ohio State that the Delta House gives to the other fraternities and Dean Wormer.

67. Hampton

“Maybe you don’t remember me, my name is….”

“Maybe I don’t give a fuck. Maybe I don’t remember the last time I blew my nose either.”

Carlito’s Way

Hampton, who people should remember as being the last #15 seed to win. This year, they are the #16 which drew Duke. Think of them going up to Krzyzewski and asking if he remembers them. I think they’ll get the same response that Pacino gives.

66. Texas-San Antonio

“Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.”

- Jaws

Quint’s famous introduction speech lets the rest of the townspeople know what he’s all about. He is ultimately hired to take out the shark terrorizing Amity Island. While the shark is ultimately destroyed, Quint is eaten alive.

The same should be used for Texas San Antonio. They should take out a bounty, should they beat Alabama State, to destroy Ohio State in a certain way. They won’t survive, just like Quint didn’t. But if they damage them enough, the townspeople (i.e, the rest of the bracket), can go back to living their summer in peace, and pumping money into Amity Island, which I hear means friendship.

65. Arkansas Little Rock

“Where you boys from”

“Alabama sir”

“You brother?”

“No, we are not relations.”

“Hmm. Arkansas huh? I’ve been there before, Little Rock is a fine town.”

- Forrest Gump

Lieutenant Dan immediately forgets and confuses where Forrest and Bubba are from. We may immediately forget that UA-LR was in the tournament, as they have a play in game against Asheville. Despite that, Little Rock is home to Bill Clinton, and a “fine town.”

64. Boston University

“I’m ready to shoot Jack. I’m ready fucking now. It’s my big dick, I’m ready to fuck, so let’s fucking fuck right fucking now.”

- Boogie Nights

To Boston G/F John Holland, who was 13^th in the nation in FG’s attempted, but only shot 38%. Of big names who shot more than him, their ranks, and their percentage: Fredette (1, 45.6), Walker (3, 43.2), Marshon Brooks (4, 48.3), Adrian Oliver (5, 43.4), Norris Cole (8, 44.3), Jordan Hamilton (10, 44.1), Nolan Smith (11, 46.5), and Holland (13, 38.7). So, he could make or break the Terriers. Yes, he is the leading scorer of the Terriers, and the hottest commodity of the Jack Horner porn franchise, but he also shoots a putrid percentage, i.e., he could be demanding the ball/to fuck, when it isn’t warranted.

63. UNC-Asheville

“You’re just the afterbirth Eli. That slithered out of your mother’s filth. They should have put you in a jar on the mantle place.”

- There Will be Blood

This may be a little harsh on Asheville; they certainly don’t deserve the same treatment that Eli gets in There will be Blood. But the point remains; they are the afterthought in the state of North Carolina, behind every other successful program in the state. This is Asheville’s third tournament appearance.

62. UC-Santa Barbara

“Bodhi, this is your fucking wake-up call man! I am an F-B-I agent!”

“Yeah, I Know man. Aint it wild? That’s what makes it so interesting. You can do what you want, and make your own rules.

- Point Break

Using Point Break to represent Santa Barbara, which isn’t even that big of a surfing community, but whatever (its more of a wine/lame community). UCSB has the charm yet carelessness of Bodhi in Point Break. The Gauchos went 8-8 in the Big West, and finished in fifth. This didn’t stop them from rolling through the tourney, and making the NCAA tournament for the second straight year. Think of Florida as Keanu Reaves, yelling for UCSB to stop, and UCSB possibly laughing their way to an early upset.

61. Northern Colorado

“Man, I expected the rocky mountains to be a lot rockier than this.”

“Yeah, that John Denver is full of shit man.”

- Dumb and Dumber

To Northern Colorado, who is traveling from the elevation of Greely, Colorado, to the plains and desert of Tucson to take on San Diego State. Guard Devon Beitzel averages 21 ppg! He could be looking around to his teammates, saying that everyone else was full of shit to like the Aztecs, as he leads the Bears to an upset win.