Mock Draft Version 6.9

The NFL Draft used to be one of my favorite things. For a five to six year stretch from 1995-2001, I would wake up on a Saturday Morning and eagerly anticipate the start. This was before Berman annoyed me. This is when the Bears were always picking relatively ealy, and always made the worst choice (from 95-01, their picks in the first round were: Salaam(21), Walt Harris (13), none in 97, Enis(5), McNown(12), Urlacher(9), David Terrell(8)). This is also before the Bears decided that first round picks werent important, and decided to trade them all, and when the first round would take less than 6 hours to complete. This was before they moved the draft to Thursday for no reason (other than the reason that now they have rights to the NBA finals and that would be a scheduling conflict). Most importantly though, this was before the time of Todd McShay.

Before I spit out everything I think about the NFL Draft that is on my mind (and it has been on my mind a while), let me point out that a lot of this stems from the increase of importance of the combine. A friend of mine once wrote this article which sums up the combine pretty nicely, so I won't go into it much more. Just know that the combine sucks, and while it did exist before 2002, no one in the general public paid too much attention to it. Back in the old days of 28k modems and only 99 cable channels, we did something so novel; we watched the games and made our own judgement calls. Shockingly, we were somehow able to determine who was good, and who wasnt, all without the aid of what their broad jump or shuttle run time was. Ultimately, it didn't matter because none of us were scouts, GMs, coaches, or owners, but in general the combine is turning our society into a nation of nerds; but thats another story.

Then, enter Todd McShay. He came on the scene around the same time in which the combine became popular, and people went to ESPN to look at NFL Draft stuff. At first, McShay was just a general annoyance to both me and Mel Kiper. Mel Kiper had been around for so long, and could be defined as a guy who a) never coached, b) never played, c) showed up just in April but didnt do anything else the other 11 months, d) was sporadically correct about a player, and e) knew every single possible attribute about a player. So when McShay showed up, and contributed the same 5 things which Kiper did, and nothing else, I was confused. Similar to old Biff in 2015 in Back to the Future II, I was saying "what the hell, two of em?"

McShay's general annoyance developed into something more. He came to embody the #1 thing in the world that I hate. That is, people in high profile jobs who don't know what theyre talking about, take no risks, have no guts, and ultimately contribute nothing to anything, yet are still highly regarded by the masses (which is like 99% of Los Angeles - and 100% of ESPN).

If he came out and said the following, I'd have respect for him: "Here are two lists, one, my top 32 players. The second, the order in which I think the first 32 picks are going to go, based upon the franchises needs." That is all you need. Period.

Instead, he re-does his Mock Draft every other week, and is now on Mock Draft 6.0 (more on this later). I don't have time to evaluate every single player at every single spot, but lets look at his history a little more closely. Our evaluation is going to be the top 5 picks in each version, and if ever a previous top 5 pick drops out, their new rank, and conversely, if someone eventually moves in, their ranking in other versions. If this doesn't make sense, it will.

Mock 1.0 November 11, 2010 (why this early, no idea).

1. Andrew Luck

2. Marcell Dareus

3. Da'Quan Bowers

4. Patrick Peterson

5. Prince Amukamara

10. AJ Green

21. Von Miller

24. Nick Fairley

NR. Blaine Gabbert

NR. Cam Newton

Couple of notes on this, and then I'm going to move on more rapidly. Why would someone release a mock draft a) before they knew who was coming out? b) before the season was over? c) when the NFL season was halfway done, and you had no idea the order of picks?

Mock 2.0 January 19, 2011

1. Da'Quan Bowers

2. Nick Fairley

3. Blaine Gabbert

4. A.J Green

5. Patrick Peterson

7. Marcell Dareus

9. Prince Amukamara

10. Cam Newton

11. Von Miller

Mock 3.0 February 10, 2011

1. Da'Quan Bowers

2. Nick Fairley

3. Von Miller

4. A.J. Green

5. Blaine Gabbert

6. Marcell Dareus

7. Patrick Peterson

8. Prince Amukamara

10. Cam Newton

(I think youre getting my point, but I will keep going. The point is that he is playing musical chairs with the spots. All of this is being done with NO games being played. Nevertheless, he now has his previous 8 players as the top 8, so that makes sense, bravo).

Mock Draft 4.0 March 16, 2011

1. Marcell Dareus

2. Von Miller

3. Blaine Gabbert

4. A.J. Green

5. Cam Newton

6. Bowers

7. Peterson

8. Fairley

13. Amukamara

Mock Draft 5.0 April 6, 2011

1. Newton (with the explanation; Newton is not #1 player)

2. Dareus

3. Miller

4. Green

5. Gabbert

7. Peterson

8. Fairley

13. Amukamara

20. Bowers

So, if you're scoring at home, he had three different number one picks in 4 drafts (not going to count the first). Of those #1s, he had Newton ranked as low as 10, Dareus as low as 7, and Fairley as low as 8. Again, the important thing to realize is that from Mock 2.0 to Mock 5.0, there were ZERO FOOTBALL GAMES PLAYED. I understand shit happens. People put on 50 pounds. People get arrested. People fail drug tests. People break bones. These extenuating circumstances did not play into any of these prospects except for Bowers, since people think theres something wrong with his knees. The point is, you would think that the football season's sample size would be enough to accurately judge these players, and running a 40 at Lucas Oil Field shouldnt matter much (especially for someone like Blaine Gabbert).

So at this point, the first week of April, I said enough is enough. Who would listen to this guy? Anyone could name the top 10 players in the draft, and have one of them picked, which is essentially what hes doing by continuously changing around his forecast. Ask me who's gonna be #1 next week? Well, it could be Bowers, Newton, Fairley, Dareus, Peterson, or Gabbert. I really went out on a limb there. I decided to write this article describing my feelings towards McShay.

But then, the impossible happened. McShay outdid himself. McShay released.............MOCK 6.0

And I can't even analyze this one. Why? Because McShay REALLY outdid himself in this one. No longer is he just naming one player for one team, now, hes naming multiple players for each team. In case you're not getting this because of insider restrictions, let me write what he wrote for the Panthers:

Scenario 1: I'm not hearing anything different, so the pick is Newton

Scenario 2: Panthers need a DT, so they draft Dareus, who I believe is best player.

Scenario 3: They take Gabbert, who is 10 spots better than Newton. Im also hearing things about Peterson and AJ Green.

So he just named four players that the Panthers could take. No fucking shit sherlock. The draft is a week away, and you're supposed to be a journalist who finds these things out. Instead you're just naming the most obvious names of who was good in the league last year. Also note that Green and Peterson were never #1 in any of his otehr Mocks, so now he has those two names covered.

Basically, unless Corey Liuget shocks the world and is taken #1 overall (lets hope), McShay will have gotten it right. I can't stand this shit anymore. I may not even watch the draft next Thursday because odds are: a) itll take 9 hours, b) McShay will be there, c) Berman will be there, d) I won't know 10 of the players in the draft even though I watched every football game possible last year - this being a result of people skyrocketing up the charts due to their combine/stats performance. In regards to d), you may say "thats why McShay knows more than you H, and you don't know shit about football." Well I invite you to think about this. Would you be able to tell the difference between Anthony Castonzo and Gabe Carimi if they walked into your apartment? Would you tap your friend on the shoulder in Chipotle and whisper; "dude, thats Brooks Reed over there!" Would you instantly tweet if you were at a bar and Muhammad Wilkerson walked in? No? Well all of those players are top 20 picks according to McShay's Mock 5.0.

In the meantime, I'll think back to the simpler times.......times.......like these.